The struggle to discover self is long and hard, difficult and can be one that is lonely. A path filled with uncertainty.
Yes the path is really tiring at best.
In my journey to self discovery, I have tried many things...Aaw! so many I lost count.. I have tried to do the things others did which worked for them.
For the sake of finding self I have tried to see the image of other people in me. It was very easy, once I see someone doing something nice, I also want to do it,hoping and praying that somehow I would stumble on my true self, I would discover the thing that makes me truly happy, something that makes me want to get on my up from my bed, to stumble upon that "thing" that makes me forget when to eat... lol.
Truly I have tried a lot of things, yet in the end, i was never fulfilled, never satisfied, i was still empty,the only difference is that I have become more knowledgeable in diverse and totally unrelated things; having an idea of so many things and yet not able to find that thing that gave me the spark.
Then I thought to myself, I should be able to sieve out what I do not want, in as much as I try to learn everything I see and come across, there is danger in wanting to try everything.
I have recently started telling myself that there are somethings that others do that might work for me.
I can copy; but only to a certain degree that compliments and brings out my own creativity. I might admire a streak in another person and want to emulate it;what I should not do is to lose my personality in the image of another.. It should not have to work for me in the same manner.
In fact I give myself a few minutes a day to meditate on the things I find interesting on a daily basis and at the end of that meditation I am able to say categorically....
Naaaa I am not interested in that and I will not Copy
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